A little reflection on self and storytelling...

Trying on someone else's hat...

"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road": I've picked Lao Tzu and Gandhi to write about today. I think about their words often, as they have helped me define how I want to think about myself over the years. That task of definition has been constant and can only resonate truthfully if it intersects something true in me at my core. The dilemma is in knowing what is ever-changing and what is core...

When I let go of what I am,
I become what I might be.

--Lao Tzu

Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.

--The Mahatma (Gandhi)

"Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go": I wake up and I put on my self somewhere between pulling on my right sock and brushing my teeth... That self which is the construction of all that I have done and have chosen to hold on to (plus a great deal that has been imprinted on me both wonderful and terrible—falling into an icy stream [sad face] and being rescued from that same stream by Steve B. [happy face.])...

"So make the best of this test, and don't ask why": The self we cloth ourselves in each day as we awake is reflexive and familiar. Self: you know, the stories and identity that we have rehearsed for as long as we have been storytellers to ourselves and to those around us who would listen...

"It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time": Of course, there are those stories we tell to impress ourselves; and when our psyche sees that the story is good, we trot it out for others to consume. At times we repeat these tales whenever a situation calls for it, often forgetting that the listeners have heard them over and over. We never seem to tire of these impressive stories, but our audience might if they do not see the whimsical value in the ever morphing yarns...

"It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right": And there are the stories we tell that indicate the kind of context we wish to be seen in that helps educate and illuminate our audience as to why our present looks like it does. These stories are repeated and refined over time such that they become as meaningful as myths, and at times as fantastical... (I did in fact walk downhill to school both ways when I was a kid.)...

"I hope you had the time of your life": So the crux of this storytelling we do is that our attachment to some of our oldest and most dear stories may in fact be keeping us from finding the self that is here, now, present. The old stories cease to illuminate and illustrate, and instead, act as a cement on the old self that should be ever-changing. Context yields to definition and we become fixed, despite the dynamic world we are interacting with each moment...

It brings a twinkle to the sky...

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...: It's snowing again. The low pressure front sitting in the Gulf of Maine—which is about to manifest a bombogenesis and rain down snow to the tune of a foot or more—has been pressing on my head all morning.  Taxes, e-mails, lists of "to-dos;" grading, cleaning, homework, and the list goes on;
so much grown-up-ing...

My mojo's rising...: I have been nurturing my child-self lately, looking for the beginners mind as I reinvent myself each day. I lost that child this morning as I went to the store to "get the milk and bread," and dealt with all the others who were not only getting the milk and bread, but also a months supply of bottled water in case we might be snowed in for at least an hour or so before plows come by (did you hear the un-child-like sarcasm there in that statement?). I felt I did not want a snow day, as it will push my work year yet another day further into summer vacation. But what would the child me want? He'd want to make sure the mojo was not messed with and secretly pray for a Monday of sleeping in, video games, and comic book reading. He would stress over expectations of how snow days creep up when unexpected, and when hoped for, never seem to materialize...

"Round abounds" are better than U-Turns...: So for the last two days, as I have been interacting with all the people who think teachers have the final opinion on whether school will be cancelled or not (and if that is good or not), I have been saying, "I do not want any more snow days!" I think I need to change my song today. The child in me says, "Bring it on!" (Or perhaps I am just laying down some powerful mojo, eh?) I'll never say...

So long ago when I still thought like a child...: Back in 1991 I got to watch a Californian friend of mine see snow in person for the first time. She brought out the kid in an entire psych class of wanna-be grown-ups. We took a break from the lecture and played in the snow while the professor looked out the window at us act like we were half our actual ages. I've gone back to school for a single college class. It is so fun to think like I am half my age again for a few hours each week. So, here's to Megan and that eternal wonder-struck child we all have in our psyche who shows him/her-self when snow falls from the sky...

california born

to observe one who hasn't experienced snow
brings a smile to my lips;
perhaps greater than the smile
the initiant to heaven's first frosty drop of the year
has upon her face.
i have the benefit of 19 years
of white washed landscapes;
this is her first.
watching the absolute glee upon her face and
that twinkle in her eye
i remember every snowball thrown and
every melted flake upon my tongue;
the chill of frostniped toes and nose,
and the almost painful (but welcome) tingle of warmth by the
fire and a hot cup of chocolate.
she, through her simple look out the window,
that longing look which screams "i wanna go out and play,"
reminds me of my sometimes forgotten youth, and i smile.
i might even go as far as to say that there is a twinkle in my eyes.

fall 1991

"Use your minds. Follow your plans and you will all find safe squares"...

I recently watched Queen of Katwe, a true story about the discovery and achievement of a chess prodigy discovered in the slums of Katwe, Uganda. Disney hits a home run with this at-times gut wrenching (yet never lending to complete despair) story of eventual triumph. Did I mention it's a true story? Amazing that it is so! In the lowest moments there is always a ray of hope and way out. Here is Wikipedia's plot summry:

Living in the slum of Katwe in Kampala, Uganda, is a constant struggle for 10-year-old Phiona (Madina Nalwanga) and her family. Her world changes one day when she meets Robert Katende (David Oyelowo) at a missionary program. Katende coaches soccer and teaches children to play chess. Curious, Phiona approaches and learns the game. She becomes fascinated with it and soon becomes a top player under Katende's guidance. Over several years, her success in competitions and tournaments leads to greater competitions, stress, and identity issues. Phiona must learn more than the game as she is exposed to life outside Katwe. Her education, both formally and informally, continues as she dreams of escaping a life of poverty for herself, her mother, and her siblings. --Wikipedia

I need more time to write a proper review, but for now I offer the trailer to peak your interest. I liked the film a lot. It dod not blow me away, but I am still thinking about it long after the credits have rolled. Phiona's story is quite compelling; her coach is something amazing, her family tenacious, and that Disney pulled this off, impressive. Filmed on location the film has received favorable reviews and is worth the time to take an interest in:

Queen of Katwe received positive reviews from critics, with David Oyelowo and Lupita Nyong'o's performances receiving unanimous praise.^[43][44] Review aggregation website Rotten Tomatoes gives the film an approval rating of 92%, based on 135 reviews, with an average rating of 7.3/10. The site's consensus states: "Queen of Katwe is a feel-good movie of uncommon smarts and passion, and Lupita Nyong'o and David Oyelowo's outstanding performances help elevate the film past its cliches."^[45] On Metacritic, the film has a normalized rating of 73 out of 100, based on reviews from 40 critics, indicating "generally favorable reviews".^[46] Audiences polled by CinemaScore gave the film an "A+" grade.^[41] --Wikipedia